Let's play a game,
take this knife out my hand, would ya?
I...can't take this pain.
This part of my mind has many mentions of suicidal thought, attempts, etc.
I keep having awful thoughts about hurting my love ones and others. It makes me so sad cause I know I'm not a bad person, I have a good heart. I sometimes cry about it cause I feel like I shouldn't live and that I'm an awful person. I want to live, but sometimes, I don't. Also, I need to clear my mind about who I am, am I a nice person or a harmful one? I always keep changing my mood and my personality so other people will like me but I'm afraid that one day my mask will fall off. I just want real friends man, I want a true bestfriend, someone who is crazy and someone who won't judge me but according to my 'bff' it's my fault that I end up getting fake friends. because I'm the one who leave people, I'M THE real monster?!?!?!?! Just because I thought they were toxic when they weren't? Well damn, I'm sorry Miss Toxic snake! But you have to understand that your not me, you haven't been though what I have. I think I'm going to end my friendship with her for once and for all
[and she says, I wish that I could be like the cool kids]
I wish I wasn't the type of person who couldn't fit in with everyone else, instead, I'm a popular girl surrounded by a bunch of snakes, people from my school just become my friend hoping that they'll become popular. For fuck sake, it's not that easy, I have a few friends that I don't want to drive away and I certainly don't want them to be bothered with my own emotions, that's why I always keep stuff to myself cause I'm such an serective person. I wanna go back to where life was simple I was truly happy and didn't cut myself. about cutting, I only cut at the arms, not the wrists.
get out of the rabbit hole